Lionel Blair Wants To Help You Undress

Rasping flip-flop Lionel Blaire has allegedly been out soliciting for man-sex. According to a Holy Moly mole he was in the Kingston branch of Zara when:

“… [he] saw Lionel staring drool-mouthed at him and made the mistake of making eye contact… The oak-panel-skinned prancer followed him into the changing rooms and inquired - with a chilling lick of his lips - if the mole needed any help "fitting into those trousers". Excuses were hastily made and the mole fled the shop.”

If you’re anything like me, from now on all your dreams will be like a lungey film clip of Blair, his lizardy eyes and darty little tongue jabbing away at you. He’ll possibly be wearing his gym kit. That is of course unless Natalie Umbruglia accidentally exposes her front bottom next time she's round to my house. Which is most nights. Then the spell’s broken.